The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
