Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
