She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
