did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It's shark week go big or go home
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
