so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
