I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
