I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
