ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He better not be in your backpack
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
