It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
