3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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