ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
