i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
BRING THE BAGELS
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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