Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
