Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
