I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
