super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
