He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
