I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
