the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
