Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
