Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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