thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
