btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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