why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
