I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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