Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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