morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We had sex on a dog bed..
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
