Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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