I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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