The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
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