is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
