he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
