Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
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