Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
