I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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