If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
And my parents said I crawled through the house
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
