i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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