Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
