I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
