remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We just shotgunned beers for America
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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