have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
