Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
