I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Where did you get a picture of my penis
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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