words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
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