you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
