i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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