I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
