and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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