why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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