Already got asked if we're dating
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
