The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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